I’m exhausted. I thought I slept last night, even though I was awake when Hub left this morning at 8am. I usually try to get back to sleep for a while, but it did not work this morning. And right now? I’m having trouble keeping my eyes open. I feel EXHAUSTED. I rushed through eating some lunch because I knew I had to eat, but I pretty much scarfed my food and am back in my recliner with my laptop.
I feel edgy and anxious. So tired that I wish I could sleep, but that I’m worried there’s something wrong with me and that’s why I’m so tired. Why is my head so fucked up like this? I’m forever searching for a REASON for the way I feel, as if the lack of reason really means there is something direly wrong with me. And I made the mistake of telling my husband how I was feeling, while he is working about 2 hours away from home today, and now he’s worried. That doesn’t help me one tiny bit.
WTF is going on with me today? I do so well for so long, then fall into a hole of feeling this way. Maybe it’s my hormones messing with my head? I know I could text or email T to ask for help but I know she’s going to tell me to use my tools, and I’m TRYING. But what to do when the tools don’t feel like they are helping? So hey, maybe sitting here crying will help. Good on me, I’ll just go cry for a while, and maybe that will clear everything out and I can move on.