These PVCs are ’bout driving me crazy. Like I needed any help. I was fine for most of yesterday, with the flubadubas only coming and going here and there. This afternoon and tonight, they are back full force and I really just don’t want to have to deal with them. I have to go to my massage therapist tomorrow, and I’m not looking forward to going feeling the way I do. It’s too late to cancel (I’d have to pay in full, and it’s not covered by insurance), so I hope these damn things go away. As it is I feel like poop, and having to lay down for an hour while someone works on my trigger points (which is painful) while I’m getting PVCs repeatedly (and coughing, because I can’t seem to help it) is not something I want to do.
I want to WILL them away. I want to WILL my anxiety away. I want to WILL my depressive episodes away.I want to WILL myself to find hope and purpose. I want to WILL away the weight I’ve gained over the last year.
Well, that last one doesn’t count, because I should be able to do that one, I just can’t seem to get a handle on it.
Go away, flubadubas. GO AWAY. Leave me alone. I want to rest, I NEED to rest. I need to not feel that ripple of anxiety every time you do that premature THUMP. I need to not let my health anxiety take over.
I’m tired of this. I’m tired, period.
eta – I decided that it’d be a waste of my time and the massage therapist’s time to go to the appointment. I’d be so anxious that I wouldn’t get any benefit from the session. I’ll just have to eat the fee and deal with it.