On borrowed (big dog) time

29 Jun

Hub and I have an evening wedding to go to in a few weeks. It’s a formal occasion, which I talked about briefly before when I bitched about having to find a gown and shoes. Hub had to buy a new suit, too, because the pants on his old suit were messed up…even after taking them to the tailor for the last big event we had. Anyway, I digress (already, jeez, I’m only in the first paragraph), because this isn’t about the wedding.

It’s about the dogs.


Who, me?


Technically, not so much Butthead, but more about Le Moo.


You can’t see me hiding back here, can you?


We’re hiring someone to come dog-sit while we’re at the wedding, mostly because we’re over-protective and we have to be forty minutes away just before dinnertime and who is going to feed our pups? The wedding is a family affair, so anyone who might be able to feed the dogs are all going to be with us at the wedding. So we’re going to hire someone to come to the house, feed the dogs, and hang out for a while to let them out and stuff. This means finding someone to hire, which means telling people about our dogs.

In theory, this is no big deal because we talk about Le Moo and Butthead all the time. You think your friends with new babies are bad? Yeah, they’re amateurs. We love our dogs, we spoil our dogs, we talk about them all the time and will happily explain how cute, adorbs, and completely disobedient they are (which they really aren’t most of the time). So it should have been a cinch to fill out the online profiles for the dogs when searching for a dog-sitter. Until Hub had to fill out their ages. Then he had to try really hard not to cry.

Both our dogs are large. Butthead is a svelte 76lbs…I wish she’d gain weight but she just doesn’t seem to be able to keep it on. I think she’s on the thin side but our vet says she’s a perfect weight. So at least I know she’s not sickly, since he’s happy with her physicality. Le Moo, on the other hand, is always on the…um, chunky side. She vacillates between 84-95lbs. At her highest, it was 95, now on a moderately strict diet she’s probably around 85lbs. She’s a big girl, but her (suggested) breed does indicate a bit of rotundness, so we’re all good with her size (except the vet, of course).

If you know dogs, you know that big dogs don’t live very long, generally speaking. Le Moo supposedly is part Great Pyrenees, and in looking up their life span it says 10-12 years. Le Moo is going to be 10 this fall. Although she’s not really slowing down too much (any slower than her norm and she’d be asleep all the time), we do see a moderate change in her personality. When my Mom’s English Lab got to a certain age, she changed from being completely ball-obsessed and independent to clingy. Le Moo is getting more and more clingy with every passing week. For her, that means she’s seeking our attention much more than she used to, and I find that she’s seeking out Butthead’s companionship more. At night, Le Moo used to sleep far away from Butthead, usually the complete opposite end of the room and sometimes hiding in the closet. Now, she will actively go and sleep right next to Butthead. And when we wake up in the morning, there are more days when she’s still there, rather than on her own bed or in the closet…or somewhere else away from Butthead.

Hub was incredibly upset to realize Le Moo’s age. I guess I’m more obsessive about these things, so I know her age and it’s difficult for me to forget it. I often find myself hugging Le Moo and whispering in her ear that she better not ever leave me. But it’s going to come and I am going to be devastated. I cried for months after we adopted her because I wasn’t over Sweet Pea’s death less than two months prior. As much as I wanted to love Le Moo–I’d picked her out and I’d made the decision with Hub to adopt her–I resented her because she wasn’t Sweet Pea. And she didn’t seem to need or want me in her life. She was so aloof and so independent and I was accustomed to Sweet Pea who was clingy and shadowed me everywhere.

When I realized what was happening and I began working through my grief over Sweet Pea, I came to understand that Le Moo was a different dog. And that she was the dog I needed at that time…and I had to be the owner she needed. Obviously I’ve become incredibly attached to Le Moo, although it is in a different way than SP, and I am terrified of the day she leaves this earth.


I’ll just sleep here so you can’t put the recliner foot rest up or even put your feet on the floor.


I watch her when she’s out in the yard, because despite her weight and size, she can move like nobody’s business. If there’s something to be chased, she’s fast and light on her feet. If there’s something REALLY good to chase and bark at, she’ll actually pogo up in the air like she’s on a pogo stick or a trampoline. It’s outstanding and amazing to watch! People who have met her and know her–she mostly acts like a lump–have actually stared in shock when they’ve seen her run or pogo out in the yard. No one understands how she can do it and most won’t believe it until they see it, but it’s true. And so far, she’s still chasing and pogo’ing, so I am happy about that.

I don’t know how she dares even consider leaving this earth, but inevitably it will happen. Hub and I will be devastated. Until then, we continue to love her (and tolerate Butthead) for every moment we have together. Borrowed time or not, she’s still my Ladybug, and I’m going to celebrate all that she is until and then some.


Why yes, this is my ball full of Kix cereal, thanks!


Posted by on June 29, 2017 in anxiety, Butthead, dogs, fear, future, hub, Le Moo, loss, love, Sweet Pea


Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

6 responses to “On borrowed (big dog) time

  1. easyweimaraner

    June 30, 2017 at 2:18 am

    I understand you… and I often felt the same…. but after we suddenly had to face the loss of Easy I decided no longer to cry when I see how fast the time flies… it’s better to enjoy every moment we have together…. that’s easy said and it is a challenge to act this way… and I often (or always) fail….maybe that is the price of love we have to pay… ;o(

    • meANXIETYme

      June 30, 2017 at 9:35 am

      Yes. If we want to love them we have to deal with the unavoidable idea of losing them. It’s such a cruel joke on us humans…

  2. joey

    June 30, 2017 at 8:47 pm

    She’s so pretty ā¤ I'm kinda partial to black and white, I really am. (Do not tell the redhead)
    I understand how you feel and could commiserate with one story after another. It's never easier, and yet we do it again and again cause LOVE.
    I feel for you leaving your dogs. I've done it several times, and with people who know and love my dog, but I never actually like it, grateful though I am.
    Every time we go to vet, Sadie is 47-48 lbs and every year he says he'd like her to be more like 43 and every year I say he always says that and then we smile and pet the doggie.

    • meANXIETYme

      June 30, 2017 at 9:18 pm

      I won’t tell The Redhead. šŸ™‚ I didn’t know I was partial to the b&w until we got Le Moo, then I went looking for another one! LOL
      I have a couple of friends who have offered to help with our dogs on occasion, but as it happens they were not available for this particular day. Like I said, we usually rely on family, but they’re all gonna be where we are. We’re going to do a shorter dog-sit ahead of time to make sure it all works out with whoever we pick.
      Yeah, Le Moo has always been in the same range of weight. It’s like she puts on weight in the summer when she’s less active and then loses some of it in the winter when she plays more in the cold weather. We’re being more careful now with her diet, though, since she’s aging and we’re very conscious of her joints. But our vet has stopped saying much of anything about her weight, since it’s fairly stable.

  3. marianallen

    July 5, 2017 at 5:36 pm

    Every time a cat moves on, it breaks my heart. My husband keeps saying, “No more cats! It hurts you too much!” I keep saying, “Right! No more cats! Ever!” Then we get another cat. It doesn’t matter if we get them when they’re old and only have them a couple of years, or when they’re small and have them 17+ years, they fill our hearts and lives and COMMAND us to share what they’ve taught us about love with new needy ones. ā¤ Le Moo

    • meANXIETYme

      July 5, 2017 at 6:47 pm

      Yes I had thoughts if no more dogs after my first dog died and I was so devastated. But I don’t know how to not dog…
      Thanks for the ā¤ for Le Moo. She loves the attention!


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