No Joy Whatsoever

27 Feb

So Saturday the 4th in the evening, I got hit with a wave of exhaustion and wooziness and then weakness that left me feeling like I wasn’t able to stand long enough to even shower. Sunday morning I thought I was okay, but by 2ish, I was feeling the same again. This was more than just feeling tired, it was long past tired. It was close to how I felt the day after my surgery. Exhaustion, severe and overwhelming. Weakness like I had no muscles left after a 100 mile walk in one day. It was beyond beyond.

Monday morning I called my doctor’s office but no joy for an appointment, so Hub and I went off to a local walk-in/urgent care clinic not far from our local hospital. After 2 1/2 hours of waiting, ekg, bloodwork and pee, the doctor (who was wearing a face mask and coughing phlegmy) told me she found nothing in my tests but couldn’t rule out a stroke so I needed to go to the ER.

At 2pm, we checked into the ER and spent the next 5 1/2 hours being pushed from triage, Ekg (again), bloodwork (again), pee (again), the “main” waiting area, then to a small, isolated, windowless room with several other couples and individuals (some of which were contagious based on the fact that two of them were wearing masks–both of which then took off their masks while they were in there with us). This cramped little space is where we sat for another 90 minutes while they gave me IV fluids, while the others around us also sat getting IV treatments…along with two older people slouched over in wheelchairs (where there was no space for them) and another person slept on a chair. They finally found us a room in the ER, where the PA who saw us did a neurology physical test, said probably no stroke and they don’t want to do a CT without a real reason. So she did thyroid test (again) on the bloodwork which came back normal…as did all my blood work from both walk-in clinic and the ER lab. So she sent us home saying I should see a neurologist as a follow-up.

My doctor’s office called the next day and said, “come in so we can talk about what’s going on”, so I did on Thursday. Part way through the appointment (at 3pm), the doctor said “you’re having shortness of breath and leg pain, you need a lung ct and leg ultrasound to rule out DVT and lung blood clot”. Luckily for us, the nurse was able to hustle us an appointment at a local radiology office instead of sending us back to the ER again. Unfortunately, the nurse at my doctor’s office made an appointment for us at the location that was forty minutes away in the “city” versus the one that was ten minutes away and the same distance from our house. And she actually only made the CT appointment, not the leg ultrasound appointment. We were lucky that the person managing the location we went to fit us in for both tests within an hour…and the techs were both very nice about the situation.

The radiology place won’t tell us anything, they just fit us in for both test and sent us home at 4:30. I called my doctor at her office, who said she would call from home and get test results (bcuz her office closes at 5pm) and call me once she has them. She called at about 5:50 to say both tests were normal, for me to pick up in the inhaler she prescribed because my chest had sounded “tight” and she was thinking I might have asthma…and then I should rest, hydrate, and get back in touch if I get worse.

I’m at home, still feeling crappy and tired and weak. I’ve been eating normally, trying to drink as normal as possible, and trying to rest. Because of how badly I was feeling, I had a shitty panic attack Sunday afternoon (before the walk-in/ER visit) that I kept trying to get out of but it just kept recycling when I thought it was over.

Ten days after my appointment with my primary, I went back for a follow-up because I wasn’t feeling much better and the inhaler was giving me leg cramps. The doctor listened to my lungs and pronounced them clear, said I could stop the inhaler, and that I should go home and hydrate and rest some more. She said there’s a virus going around and that it wasn’t unusual for the main complaint to be exhaustion. And in fact, she was leaving shortly after my appointment because she was having the same symptoms I was (although she was also getting a little cough).

So I’m still home, still hydrating, still trying to eat normally, and I’m resting so much I’m tired of resting. Sadly, I’m still feeling really overtired and I have no energy for anything. It’s been a struggle for me to keep up with taking the dogs out repeatedly during the day (and I can’t leave Butthead outside alone because she eats stuff in the grass and then gets sick), and I’ve hardly been able to do more than one or two loads of laundry in a day. Going to the grocery store or to my therapy appointments leave me exhausted. Tomorrow I go for massage  therapy and I have no idea how I’m going to feel afterwards.

And through all of February, my pain has been ramped up. I can’t seem to get around it. My muscles all hurt. My stomach hurts. I’m having lots of trouble sleeping. I haven’t crocheted since January. I haven’t done much of anything since this all started…

Tonight…well, tonight Hub goes for his sleep study to see if he has sleep apnea. That means I get to go out into the dark and the cold tonight to let the dogs out before bedtime. It also means I will be sleeping alone tonight. Not a happy me!

Did I mention that Hub’s job is transitioning now that a bigger corporation bought his smaller employer? Did I also mention (can’t remember if I have) that they’re screwing around and even though we technically have health insurance with the new company we won’t actually have cards until some unknown time in mid-to-late-to-end-of March? So if we get sick or need the ER or to see a doctor or to GET OUR MAMMOGRAM we can’t. Or we pay on our own and maybe the insurance company might reimburse us later for some small portion of the amounts we paid? (*sob*) Talk about anxiety…




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7 responses to “No Joy Whatsoever

  1. joey

    February 27, 2017 at 8:10 pm

    OMG that sounds miserable.
    Was it a comprehensive blood panel? Thyroid? Weird viruses? Like, looking for everything? That is concerning. I have immune issues and can sometimes feel similar to that for weeks, but not a full month, never a full month… Sounds like me with strep. No energy. Energy gone. Sleep only recourse.
    And of course, health anxiety, your favorite trigger. 😦

    That insurance thing is NO GOOD! When The Mister got his last job, we could go online and get all the group numbers, to get through that horrid waiting period with the cards. It was months and months. Also, it turns out dental and vision don’t actually give cards for this one, and I’ve been told that’s the way of the future. Anyway, I had no trouble just giving the numbers to the people when we went. Worth a try, or nah, not the same for y’all?

    • meANXIETYme

      February 27, 2017 at 8:25 pm

      Supposedly comprehensive blood panel at both places. The ER checked my thyroid (but only the TSH) and it was in the normal range (lower than I normally am, but I was dehydrated, so…). They’ve found pretty much nothing. I’ve had strep and it was like having glass in my throat, which I do not have. I have never heard of a virus that only affects your energy, but the doctor said “sure that can happen.” *sigh*

      And yeah, health anxiety. Yay for triggers! On top of, Hub just departed for his overnight sleep study and I have a headache. Not a headache like I normally get, so WTF. I didn’t tell him because he’s already upset about going for the study. I’m sure it’s fine, but rully?

      The insurance thing is SO WEIRD. He can’t even sign up until the 2nd, so he hasn’t even filled out paperwork…so they won’t even submit paperwork until after he’s filled it out. I’ve never ever heard of such a thing like this before! So he won’t have any online “presence” or account to log in to get a printable card or the #s. It’s the dumbest thing EVER. And it’s not like this is a small company that bought them out…it’s a huge massive corporation that buys companies ALL THE TIME. It’s so fucked up I can’t even ‘splain. He tried to complain and they were like “oh well, this is what’s happening…” and they just don’t give a fuck. This is one reason why he’s looking for another job. Who wants to work for a company who doesn’t give a shit about their employees? Also, they don’t put their matching contributions into employee 401ks until the end of the year…right after they do a slew of firings so they don’t have to pay. WTF.

      For the last…three or four years, our dental and vision have not come with physical cards. For a while we could print dental cards from online, but even that went away now. I did print a vision card from online for my recent eye appointments, but I’m not sure they needed it.

      • joey

        February 27, 2017 at 9:13 pm

        Well that just seems pathetic for a big company. Quite scammy :/
        I hope he finds somethin better, I really do. The Mister works for a company that’s highly rated by its employees, but he still finds things to bitch about, haha! 😛 401K ain’t one of em, and shouldn’t ever be!
        One time, I had an unshakable fatigue and it was a weird virus thingy. Dr found it while testing me for mono. Didja get tested for mono? cause um…you know. No cure, but less worry.

      • meANXIETYme

        February 27, 2017 at 9:17 pm

        I didn’t know there was a test for mono. I had mono once…same time I had strep. It was so weird they used me as a teaching case in the hospital. That was fun. Also, demerol shots in the hip were fun, too. I wish I could trust the doctors tested for everything, but who knows. I know mono hangs around a long time. It took me like six weeks to recover. Maybe longer, I can’t remember…it’s been a lot of years since then.

        I hope he finds something better, too. The insurance itself (once it goes into effect) actually sucks pretty bad. But right now, it’s a job and we’ll take that over nothing!

      • joey

        February 27, 2017 at 9:28 pm

        Yes ma’am. Certainly.

  2. easyweimaraner

    February 28, 2017 at 2:30 am

    I’m so sorry… that sounds really as if joy is far far away…
    the insurance thing sounds scary… but it’s the same I have to do here… I have to pay the most things in advance and then they say how much money they give back to me. for the rest I have to ask an additional insurance, that means paperwork for every single dogtors visit… europe sucks…

    • meANXIETYme

      February 28, 2017 at 2:40 am

      Yeah, that sounds sucky what you have to do. What his company is doing is very out of the ordinary. They buy other companies all the time…this shouldn’t be so difficult.


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