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Follow-up with trifecta ending

19 Nov

So last post I said I had to go out today and then drive home in the dark. I haven’t driven in the dark in many many MANY years. When I make appointments that I need to attend on my own, I generally schedule them during the daytime. This allows me to avoid traffic for the most part, and also it’s generally easier to get appointments during weekday work hours when most people are otherwise involved at THEIR work.

Somehow, this particular appointment didn’t work out that way, so I girded myself for driving home in the dark.

Unfortunately, I was not prepared for the high winds on the way to my appointment. I made it, but it was kind of sucky. When I left the house it was windy, 70 degrees and overcast. Two hours later, when I was ready to leave my appointment, it was 43 degrees, pitch black dark, windy, and pouring rain.

I hate driving in the rain.

So not only did I have to struggle with the dark, I had to struggle with pouring down rain AND dark. I drove out the neighborhood I was in, windshield wipers going full-throttle, with high-beams on because the neighborhood had no street lights. I thought I would be relieved to hit the 55mph highway because at least I knew it would be lit, but the highway was worse than the back roads. There was terrible glare from the rain, always-happening construction crap littering the side of the highway, and cars wanting to speed very very fast. I literally crawled onto the highway and then took the very first exit not even quarter of a mile later because I couldn’t handle it.

Once I got off the highway and onto back roads that I am very very familiar with, I did better. There was still a glare but I was in nicely lit neighborhoods with very few other cars around. It took me probably half an hour instead of twenty minutes to get home, but at least I was home safely.

Hub had offered to come get me and/or come follow me home, but he had friends over and I didn’t want to interrupt his plans.

The good news, I made it home safely. And I’m okay with not taking the highway home because I drive that road all the time so it’s not like I would normally avoid it. I just didn’t want to make things more difficult than they needed to be, especially in such an uncomfortable position.

After Thanksgiving, I’ll be hitting the interstate (65mph commuter route into the city) with my father for one of his doctor’s appointments. Fortunately, it’s scheduled for mid-morning, so it will be after rush hour, during daylight, and coming home will be before evening rush hour. I’ll be able to drive normally instead of in bumper-to-bumper traffic or with crazy people.

The appointment I had today was with our family rabbi, to talk about my dad’s situation. I was kind of disappointed that he didn’t have any really amazing ideas to help us with the current status of things. He suggested trying to get my father out of the house more often, but that’s kind of hard to do considering my father doesn’t want to go anywhere or do anything. I don’t know, I guess I’m really frustrated because without some kind of cooperation from my father, nothing is really going to change. And right now, cooperation from my father is not going to happen.

Maybe if I have some time to process today’s conversation, I might come up with something else. But right now I don’t feel like the rabbi had anything to say other than what we already knew (and what I already said in the last post).

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4 responses to “Follow-up with trifecta ending

  1. April

    November 20, 2016 at 11:26 am

    yup, we sail in the same boat. I know how hard it is to get help for someone who doesn’t want it. The first step to any recovery is acknowledge the problem and the desire to change your circumstances. Hang in there!

     
  2. joey

    November 20, 2016 at 2:13 pm

    That is disappointing, but just keep your heart and mind open with him, you can only do so much.

    I drove in the rain and dark on Friday. The Mister led the way, asking me, “Will you please go the speed limit?” and other nonsense like that. I told him, “No, I’m basically in fugue state, speed is irrelevant.” The cars in front of me, in the slow lane, they weren’t going the speed limit, either. This winter, coming home from work will often be a challenge. :/

     
    • meANXIETYme

      November 20, 2016 at 2:54 pm

      I’m trying to remain open and hopeful with and for him. It is incredibly difficult at the moment. That doesn’t mean I won’t continue to try.

      Ugh, driving in the rain and dark. I did not do the speed limit last night, and I’m usually just above the limit. But really, just no…it wasn’t worth trying to keep up with everyone else flying o the road. If Hub had been with me, he’d have been driving. I would have given over the helm without question. Cuz why else is Hub around? LOL I feel for you about the driving home from work…snow and ice…nope nope nope!

       
      • joey

        November 20, 2016 at 2:57 pm

        Yup. Well, we had met for dinner, separate cars. :/
        I will keep hope with you.

         

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