Here we are

12 May

Mom had her 8th radiation treatment today. It was the second time she was scheduled to see her doctor after the treatment, so I went with my parents to sit in on the appointment. Luckily, Mom hasn’t been experiencing any side effects yet. She’s taking an anti-nausea pill every day just in case, and so far it seems to be working. Unfortunately, I think it’s affecting her taste buds (she had the same problem with the anti-nausea pills during chemo), but if that’s the worst… They did say that the fatigue and other side effects might not start until three weeks into treatment, but we’ll see. I did think it was interesting that Mom told the doctor that today she was 1/3 of the way through treatment. But if that’s how it works for her, that’s fine. Mom says she’s still taking her gratitude prompts to her appointments every day, so that’s good, too.

I’m just about eight days out from my surgery. I have been trying to find lounge-dresses to wear after surgery so that I don’t have to wear pants that might aggravate any incisions I might have. I went all over on Monday and found nothing. I was so disappointed. I do have a whole list of what I want, so I guess I was really narrowing down my options. But mostly the two places I went had nothing long. I really want an ankle-length item to cover my legs in case I have company. Plus, if I’m going to be sitting in my recliner in my family room, I want to have my legs covered or Butthead will try to lick my legs all the time. And YUCK. Today Mom and I went out to a discount store to see if they had anything. I was surprised at how much clothing they had in my size, but everything was polyester, and I really don’t like the way polyester doesn’t breathe. In the end, though, I bought something that felt like jersey but was polyester (for a whopping $8) and another that was the rayon/spandex mix that I was really looking for (which was $20). Mom was so happy to be able to help me go out and find something. She’s still upset that I’m not really wanting her to be at the hospital with me, but I need to know she’s taking care of herself and that she and my dad will be taking care of our dogs. I am both hopeful and worried that I’ll be home the same day, so it won’t be a long, drawn-out stay in the hospital where people will need to come and go to visit me. Mom was in the hospital for four or five days, so we came and went a lot. Like I said before, my doctor said if I go in early enough in the morning, I might be able to go home the same night.

So the deal is, I’m nervous. But I’m not panicking and I’m not anxious. I feel like I feel like a normal person who would be nervous before surgery. I’m keeping my information-gathering to a minimum. I haven’t started packing (or thinking about what to pack) or putting things aside to take. I haven’t looked at the pre-surgery prep (bowel-prep) information. I’m trying to take all this one day at a time. I got my lounge wear, I’ll go the library this weekend to get a bunch of books. I have yarn. I can watch movies on our on-demand. I have good pillows and blankets and I’ll be sure to have lots of water to drink and pretzels to snack on. We’ll go to the grocery store this weekend and make sure we have enough easy-to-prepare foods. I already have a bench seat in my shower, so if I need to sit to shower, I’m okay.

I’m okay. I hope my health anxiety doesn’t spiral during recovery, but I can’t do anything about it now. I’ll have to work on that as it comes. I do, however, have to stop taking my digestive enzymes and probiotics before surgery (starting tomorrow), so I’ll get to see if I really need to stay on that stuff to keep heartburn away or if I am able to manage without it.

My PVCs are plaguing me tonight. What’s up with that? They haven’t been too bad recently. Some issues trying to fall asleep, a few here and there. But tonight…more often. I could do without that annoyance. Ferreals. Also, my sleep has been really crappy recently. Dreams, nightmares, etc. I’ve also been waking up earlier and earlier. That’s really frustrating for me since I’m going to sleep at the same time every night. I really need some sleep. But hey, after surgery they say I’ll be napping a lot. Maybe I’ll make up for the lost sleep? Until then, I’m just tired.

Tomorrow I’m planning to mow the lawn. The weather is supposed to be 70s and breezy. My kind of lawn-mowin’ day. Mowin’ zen, here I come!


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4 responses to “Here we are

  1. joeyfullystated

    May 12, 2015 at 9:36 pm

    Sounds like you’re processing things well 🙂
    Loungewear is an excellent idea. After c-sections, maternity clothes were fine, but after gall bladder removal (similar recovery, laproscopy way less painful, but similar still, cause abdomen), I took to some thin cotton capris I found cheap at the bloody buggery Walmart. I still wear one pair now and again, done wore the other two out, haha!
    A nice heavy pillow to press against your tummy after is very helpful. I don’t remember why. It helps when you need to move. I was pillow-oriented for a few days…Maybe have a nurse explain? I think it’ll go much easier than expected.
    I’m curious as to why you must stop with your probiotics beforehand? If you know, I’d like to know but if you don’t know, please don’t Google it.
    I’m glad your mom is coping via her positivity.
    I’m laughing at Butthead licking your legs, Sadie loves MIL’s toes! She also says, “YUCK!” lol — Sadie never licks any of our toes, ever. lol

    • meANXIETYme

      May 12, 2015 at 10:32 pm

      Butthead always goes for toes, but I’ve yelled at her so much about mine that she leaves them alone. Legs, she’s still sneaky about a slurp when I’m not looking. But she goes for everyone else’s toes still. It’s just…eww.
      I bought a couple of pairs of men’s cotton lounge pants (because POCKETS) that have tie waists instead of elastic. So if I hafta wear pants, I can try wearing those. I have a similar pair that I wear around the house and they’re very comfy, so I figured having extras wouldn’t hurt (and they were cheap from Tar-get).
      Yes, yes, yes…pillow on the tummy! I’ve heard that I should have it in the car on the way home, too. Thanks for the reminder! Something about the pressure helping with the pain…
      I probably DON’T need to stop the probiotics, but the surgery scheduler lady says they tell people to stop taking anything herbal, so I figured I’d go ahead and stop my enzymes and probiotics at the same time. I figured I’d pick up the slack with some extra yogurt instead to keep my stomach in balance.
      I hope the whole thing goes more easily than I expect. I keep reminding myself that I recovered WAY faster than I anticipated from the hysteroscopy (which I know is not relevant as to comparing it to surgery, but I was surprised at how well I recovered from it), so maybe this will be easier than I anticipate!

  2. April

    May 16, 2015 at 11:04 pm

    I like the way you are talking through your process.You sound positive.

    When I was 14, I had a side to side cut to remove an ovarian cyst and was in the hospital for a week, couldn’t walk upright for two weeks. Then I had three c-sections 25+ years later and they had me out of bed walking the first day. Ugh! Anyway, the walking did help with the recovery, along with a bunch of pillows.

    Take care, and I hope you have some of your own gratitude prompts. 🙂

    • meANXIETYme

      May 17, 2015 at 10:04 am

      Yeah, they said they’re going to have me walking and maybe going home same day. I know Mom (who had the abdominal incision) was up and walking as soon as she was stable on her feet…and then said she felt like she couldn’t stand up straight. But I’m gonna do what they tell me to do and keep moving as much as my body allows. I know that’s supposed to be better for you. And I’ve got pillows galore! So I’m set for that. 🙂


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