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Mom update

28 Feb

So just before Valentine’s day, my parents headed out on a cruise with my mother’s brother and his wife. They’d been looking forward to this since before my mother’s cancer diagnosis. My mom was feeling okay, but unfortunately my father’s diabetic neuropathy had flared up pretty badly and he spent most of the cruise in a borrowed wheelchair. My mother had to push him everywhere, but at least she was able to. She’s been recovering pretty well, and told me this morning on the phone that she had just gone up and down their stairs (from main floor to bedroom level) without holding on for balance yesterday.

Apparently that accomplishment was just a short time before her oncologist’s office called to talk to her after her CT scan from Thursday. They wanted to move up her follow-up appointment with her doctor, which isn’t good news. Then they put her doctor on the phone with her and he said two lymph nodes in her pelvic area are enlarged. He’s asked her to go for bloodwork on Monday, then he’s going to see her on Wednesday. Likely next step is a biopsy of those lymph nodes. I’m devastated for her. We have no clue what is next or what could be, but she even told me that she had hope that it was going to be a clean CT. I tried to remind her that we take one step at a time, which she’s really good at. I am not.

So of course I hung up from the phone with her and told Hub what was happening. And then I cried. I’m not Googling anything. I’m feeling in shock and frozen and not wanting to do anything.

I go for TWO medical tests on Monday, my mother goes for her bloodwork. My brother goes for a colonoscopy on Tuesday and my dad is going to acupuncture. Wednesday I’ll be going with Mom and Dad to her oncology appointment. I still haven’t taken care of my baby tooth or seen the dentist about that sore on my tongue. I haven’t taken care of my eye exam or new glasses. I am so overwhelmed. I feel sick. Every ache and pain feels amplified.

My parents were supposed to go on a trip in May, which now could be not possible. Hub was supposed to go on a trip in July…who even knows what might be going on then. I don’t even know how my mother is finding strength for this new fight–whatever it might be. I feel weak and completely blown away, and it’s not even my body at this point.

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12 responses to “Mom update

  1. sexyachymoody

    February 28, 2015 at 11:09 am

    My mom has been struggling with health issues too. I know it’s tough to deal with. Hang in there! ((Soft hugs))

     
    • meANXIETYme

      February 28, 2015 at 11:16 am

      Thanks, I appreciate you taking the time to comment. I’ll take all the support I can get.

       
      • sexyachymoody

        February 28, 2015 at 11:20 am

        I know it is probably pointless to say, I certainly know how I am, try not to worry though. Everyone is being taken care of. Stressing isn’t going to do your body any good.

         
      • meANXIETYme

        February 28, 2015 at 11:28 am

        I know I need to not stress and not obsess. I’m trying really hard. I just feel so overwhelmed with it all.
        I’ve already contacted my therapist to see if she can fit me in at all at the end of the week because I think I’m going to need to talk. I have to remind myself that part of my self-care is seeing her when I need to, versus just following a schedule of when my appointments are due. She’s part of my toolbox, I should use her when I need her. I think this is the first time I’ve ever contacted her off-hours for anything.

         
      • sexyachymoody

        February 28, 2015 at 12:26 pm

        I hope you can get in to see her. Your well-being is just as important as your family’s health. Take care!

         
      • meANXIETYme

        February 28, 2015 at 12:40 pm

        Yup, she’s got me for Friday. Thanks, I’m trying to take care as best I can. The better I am the better I can help.

         
      • sexyachymoody

        February 28, 2015 at 12:59 pm

        Exactly! 🙂

         
  2. joeyfullystated

    February 28, 2015 at 5:29 pm

    Ugh. I still need to forward my records from Georgia back to here before I get a physical and a pap. I’ve had bloodwork, which came back fine, but I loathe the after the annual bit. Dreading it so badly. I’ve also got to get back to the dentist, since I’ve paid for, but not had installed, my new crown. AND I NEED ANOTHER, cause I chipped another tooth! Also, all four of us need eye exams, and I think The Mister needs new glasses. I’m overwhelmed too.
    BUT I’m not in a state like you, with your hormonal bombardment and your family health concerns, so I truly appreciate that, and I can validate how your aches and pains are amplified. 😦

     
    • meANXIETYme

      February 28, 2015 at 6:43 pm

      I feel so crappy all the time. Nausea and headaches and my stupid imbalance and I’m so fucking tired. I don’t know how I’m going to be of help to anyone when I don’t even feel like I can help myself. I mean, I was barely able to get down a couple of spoonfuls of soup and rice with chicken tonight. I feel so damn sick all the time these days. All that outside the anxiety…bleh.
      Thanks for the validation. I know stress and anxiety makes physical stuff worse. Sadly, knowing it doesn’t really change it. 😦

       
      • joeyfullystated

        February 28, 2015 at 7:27 pm

        MMhm. Here’s to better days!

         
  3. April

    February 28, 2015 at 7:56 pm

    It’s nice when we are given a chance to breathe, and it sounds like you are having to gasp for breath right now. Thinking of you and wishing you the strength to make it through all these challenges.

     
    • meANXIETYme

      February 28, 2015 at 8:20 pm

      Thanks. I take all the wishes and thoughts I can get. I appreciate it.

       

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