So just before Valentine’s day, my parents headed out on a cruise with my mother’s brother and his wife. They’d been looking forward to this since before my mother’s cancer diagnosis. My mom was feeling okay, but unfortunately my father’s diabetic neuropathy had flared up pretty badly and he spent most of the cruise in a borrowed wheelchair. My mother had to push him everywhere, but at least she was able to. She’s been recovering pretty well, and told me this morning on the phone that she had just gone up and down their stairs (from main floor to bedroom level) without holding on for balance yesterday.
Apparently that accomplishment was just a short time before her oncologist’s office called to talk to her after her CT scan from Thursday. They wanted to move up her follow-up appointment with her doctor, which isn’t good news. Then they put her doctor on the phone with her and he said two lymph nodes in her pelvic area are enlarged. He’s asked her to go for bloodwork on Monday, then he’s going to see her on Wednesday. Likely next step is a biopsy of those lymph nodes. I’m devastated for her. We have no clue what is next or what could be, but she even told me that she had hope that it was going to be a clean CT. I tried to remind her that we take one step at a time, which she’s really good at. I am not.
So of course I hung up from the phone with her and told Hub what was happening. And then I cried. I’m not Googling anything. I’m feeling in shock and frozen and not wanting to do anything.
I go for TWO medical tests on Monday, my mother goes for her bloodwork. My brother goes for a colonoscopy on Tuesday and my dad is going to acupuncture. Wednesday I’ll be going with Mom and Dad to her oncology appointment. I still haven’t taken care of my baby tooth or seen the dentist about that sore on my tongue. I haven’t taken care of my eye exam or new glasses. I am so overwhelmed. I feel sick. Every ache and pain feels amplified.
My parents were supposed to go on a trip in May, which now could be not possible. Hub was supposed to go on a trip in July…who even knows what might be going on then. I don’t even know how my mother is finding strength for this new fight–whatever it might be. I feel weak and completely blown away, and it’s not even my body at this point.