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Party announcement

18 Feb

Everyone? Eyes up here, please!

Party guests present up to (and including) today include: stabbing lower abdominal pain  burning upper abdominal pain, achy lower back pain, dry eyes, unrelenting headache, extreme fatigue, sleeplessness.

We have some new guests that I want to call out.
Night sweats. Seriously? No one asked you to show up…especially not at 2am.
Nausea. Really? As if I need that working the room all day and night?
Bloating. Who wants that puffed-up buffoon in the house?
Radiating pain to lower body. Hips and thighs seem to want to run around the party screaming. I can’t say I blame them.
Murderous rage. I’m pretty sure she’s considering ripping out all my innards. And I am considering letting her. I picture her with Lady Gaga long pointed fingernails.

Honestly, I thought I was going to be able to make this a funny post…I had plenty of time to plot it out last night and this morning when I wasn’t sleeping or sweating or swearing. In the end, I’m pretty sure I missed the mark. Sorry ’bout that. I’m off to weep for a while, since Cray-cray Lab, whom I am dog-sitting on and off this week, just jumped up on me while I was sitting in the recliner and scraped her long-ass nails down my stomach.

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5 responses to “Party announcement

  1. joeyfullystated

    February 18, 2015 at 12:22 pm

    Oh dear, oh dear. Best you go lie down for the weeping. Maybe when you get up, things will be better.

     
    • meANXIETYme

      February 18, 2015 at 12:26 pm

      I might try it later. Can’t leave Cray-cray Lab unsupervised with Butthead, lest they end up eating each others faces (in fun, of course).

       
  2. April

    February 20, 2015 at 11:18 am

    I wish I really did have a magic wand. I would lend it to you!

     
    • meANXIETYme

      February 20, 2015 at 11:31 am

      Thanks for the thought! 🙂

       

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