I have been SO tired that mustering the energy to post about how tired I am was nigh on impossible. Obviously, since I haven’t blogged about it for a couple of days. Along with the no energy portion of the game, I’ve been dealing with an overwhelming feeling of….blah.
I had my session with T today, and of the 60 minute session, I suspect I spent about 15-20 minutes of it sighing and saying how BLAH and tired I felt, often rubbing my eyes like a two-year-old who missed her nap. T offered to end the session early, but I didn’t want to waste my WHOLE session with her. I only see her every other week, and I felt like I had things I wanted to talk about. Partway through two different conversations–that I started–I stared at her and admitted I had completely lost my train of thought. She reminded me this had a direct cause–the progesterone–and that it had a time limit. I told her I was having flashbacks to my prilosec fever, and again she reiterated that this had a clear and distinct cause, and that I could finish the two days I still had. That I needed to just wait it out.
I’ve had thoughts flitting through my head a lot these days. You know, like they tell you not to let things take hold and push you into anxiety? Don’t ruminate on things, don’t obsess, don’t chew on stuff. I said it was getting really weird for me because stuff will pop into my head and I’ll shoo it away like a gnat. So I feel like stuff is whizzing in and out of my head at top speed. So–after telling me that having all those gnats flying around all the time must drive me crazy–she asked me to NOT shoo them away and instead take one and deal with it using all the tools in my box. On my belt? Whichever phrase you’d prefer to use I guess. To take the thought and bring it to its full conclusion…which we did together. But my point for blogging about this? First they tell you to NOT concentrate on the thoughts, then they tell you to concentrate on the thoughts. WTF. No wonder we’re all a little crazy, right? LOL
That’s all I have for today, I guess. I’m still hanging on to those cramps and the headache. The dry eyes are better but not completely resolved. The exhaustion is clearly still on me. Two more pills. Then whatever comes next.
(Oh, on a completely different note, I had a nightmare last night about being bitten in the face by a vampire bat. WTF?? I woke myself up with muffled screaming. Yay.)