Waking a sleeping giant

07 Feb

Last night was the second night I took my fantastic pills. I survived yet another round of milder anxiety, and like every other night, had trouble falling asleep. Then, there I am, sleeping like nuthin, when I realize I’m awake. And my second realization is OW OW OW OW motherfucking OW. It’s like someone took my right ovary in a vise, squeezed it tight, and then twisted it around and around and around. I haven’t had cramps like that in years. YEARS. It’s like 3 am, I realize I have to pee, but the pain is so much that I don’t want to move out of bed. I know from past experience that the best way for me to relieve some of the pain is to lay on my back with my legs splayed in a certain way…it was a yoga thing that I learned at some point. But instinct has me curling into a fetal position on my side, trying to scrunch myself into a tiny ball. This relieves my back somewhat, but does nothing for the cramps.

Reluctantly I got out of bed and went to the bathroom, then went back to bed. I laid on my back like I knew I should and listened to the radio I turned on for noise (and company). Hub is snorin’ like a mother, facing me, almost in my damn ear. King size bed and that man ALWAYS knows when to snore right in my face. ARG.

I was up like that for at least an hour, maybe more. I woke up several more times through the rest of the night, but the pain was never as bad as the original wake-up. I’m kind of feeling like my body made me go nap yesterday afternoon because it knew it was going to give me hell overnight. I slept only a couple of hours in between the pain, the peeing, and the snoring. I’m still unhappy and uncomfortable today, but it’s more a undercurrent buzz of discomfort. Mom wants to go to the yarn store later, so I am hoping to be up to that to keep her company. She and my father are going on a cruise, so she wants to stock up on yarn to take with her to make hats. I’ve got my mammogram scheduled (after her cruise) at the hospital campus where her infusions were, so we want to have a good number of hats to drop off that same day (and get to see the nurses there again!).

Just now I realized my left ovary is more angry today than the right one. I guess they are pissed that they are being cranked into gear. Can’t say I blame them, but I wish they’d go hock off the doctor and not me!


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4 responses to “Waking a sleeping giant

  1. joeyfullystated

    February 7, 2015 at 3:49 pm

    Bastard ovaries. My mother gave me her theory a long time ago, in that one ovary is kind and one is evil, because inevitably, every other month is excruciating. I believe she’s right. I’m guessing your evil ovary is trying to rebel! Still, I hope that it works!

  2. April

    February 8, 2015 at 8:28 am

    I’m so sorry you’re in such pain. I certainly know what it feels like. Hope it is all worth it and the doctor finds the answers you’ve been needing.

    • meANXIETYme

      February 8, 2015 at 9:42 am

      Thanks. I hope it’s worth it, too.


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