Or not. Really, not. Despite the urge, I’ve resisted googling about my PVCs. I know it would end in increased anxiety and stress, which would so not be helpful to me right now. I mean, I’m already anxious and stressed, why would I purposefully add to that? I used to really think that Googling things about my health made me feel better, but I know that isn’t true. So I’m resisting, but I feel somewhat like a junkie, just thinking about doing it over and over again.
I have an appointment to see a family physician this afternoon to get a check on these PVCs. I’m pretty sure I’ve had an EKG done there before, so I assume that’s what they’ll do again. I’m seeing a doctor I haven’t seen before because my doctor is booked through the end of the month. I think this particular physician is new to their staff (and I suspicion has not been practicing for too long) and is a DO. Doctor of Osteopathy. I had a DO one time and really liked her. I hope this woman is nice. I’m anxious about the appointment, but that’s not really news. I really don’t like doctors and doctor’s offices. I totally get white coat syndrome, and I hate having to deal with conversations about my weight. There are lots of stories out there about doctors treating fat patients poorly, and I know that to be the case due to previous experiences. One time I went to a cardiologist who said to me (before doing anything or talking about my history) that I needed to get weight loss surgery. Dude, really? I’ve never met you before, you don’t know my history, and that’s how you open a conversation? Needless to say, that was a short relationship. I understand that weight affects health, but I do have other health issues, thankyouverymuch.
So anyway, I’m sitting around, nervous. I keep trying to distract myself, but I keep lapsing into periods of just SITTING and staring. Hey, at least it’s not crying again!
I also made an appointment to see the NP at that new gyno’s office, but it isn’t until the end of January. If I’d wanted to see the gyno herself, it would have been the end of FEBRUARY. Just as well, T told me that the NP there has a better bedside manner than the doctor (tho she recommended both), so I made the appointment with the NP.
How hard is it to find a good doctor? I mean, I’ve been through many doctors through the years, and in the end I’ve found very few that I felt comfortable with. It’s disappointing to walk into an appointment, hopeful that they’ll at least LISTEN to you and then walk out feeling like you’ve been blown off. I’ve dealt with that kind of scenario more often than not. I want someone who is going to support me in my health, not blow me off or talk down to me. I’m an adult, I’m not an idiot, and I have the right to be treated as respected human being.
So I guess we’ll see how it goes this afternoon. I know my BP will be up because of the WCS, but hopefully it’s not TOO high.
Also, why does everything hurt more now that I’m headed to the doctor? All these aches and pains that feed right into my heart health anxiety? Ugh.
But I’m really thankful that my mother is up to going with me to the doctor, since Hub is still working two hours from home…
eta – Doctor was fine. I’d see her again. She said my EKG was fine, my BP was fine. She’s getting CBC and thyroid test, which they always do for me but nothing ever comes of it. She saw no evidence of PVCs on the EKG but they are inconsistent and EKG’s are really short snapshots (obviously). She said the cardiologist might want to put me on a halter monitor if the PVCs are still there in two weeks. She suggested I hydrate more, reduce my stress (HA HA HA), and follow up with the cardiologist if things don’t get better.