It’s been mostly uneventful for us on this day of snow. We got about 12″ to this morning and now it’s snowing again. They’re saying another 2-4″ before the evening is through. We didn’t have to go out, so we were fine. The dogs went out a couple of times, did their thing, and have mostly been inside (with the exception of Butthead going crazy leaping around and running in a big circle around the yard). I actually came upstairs to lay down this afternoon because I haven’t been sleeping well and my back has been bothering me, so I took advantage of Hub being home and I tried to nap. Didn’t actually happen, but I gave it a try. In between laundry, of course.
So I went to make dinner as Hub was doing the dinner thing for the dogs. When they came in post-eating-post-outside, Hub went to give them a treat…and he gave me a look. Asked me for some juice, said he felt like he had bile in his throat and wanted to get rid of the taste in his mouth. I rushed to get him a glass of juice, then gave him some Tums. But he still didn’t seem right. After I ate, he had some toast and yogurt, but admitted he still wasn’t feeling right. But he can’t explain what that means.
Hub has a heart condition. His pulse rate runs high and sometimes his heart races. He’d been having the racing feeling and so he went to the cardiologist. They indicated that they weren’t too worried based on what they saw in the office, but suggested he wear a halter monitor for a day so they could get more information. But they only have a few of them available…and none were in at the time of his appointment. So he had to schedule to come back. He called again on Tuesday to find out when he could get the halter monitor, but they said next week, to come in the morning to get connected. So tonight he tells me he felt like his heart was racing on and off today, but isn’t sure if it was anxiety. The other night he felt this way, but went he checked his pulse on the bike (that has those pulse rate things on the handles), it wasn’t high. So now he isn’t sure if he’s really feeling the racing or if he’s dealing with anxiety. I went to check on him a few minutes ago and he said he still didn’t feel right. Maybe he was getting the flu…people in his office were getting it. But he doesn’t feel feverish or have the chills, no aches, no headache…only a mild feeling of nausea and the bile. He has some heartburn issues, so the bile could just be freaking him out, on top of the heart stuff. And I know he is worried that he’s falling into anxiety. I have no way to help him.
I am trying not to freak out myself, because if he gets sick and needs an ambulance? Our very long driveway is covered with at least 12″ of snow. We didn’t clear it because we literally cannot. It’s too long and too much snow. How the hell would an ambulance get to him? They would be able to get to the street at the end of the driveway, but our driveway is at least 150-200 feet long and filled with snow. Snow everywhere. And I’m working myself into anxiety thinking about it. It’s a real struggle right now… My own anxiety is making me feel like I am sick. Like things hurt and my heart is not working properly. I am worried about him…so much so that it’s working me into a really really anxious moment. I want to keep asking him if he’s okay, but it isn’t good for him or me. But I’m afraid if I don’t check on him, something will happen and I won’t know in order to at least TRY to get him help.
Of course on top of this my stomach is unhappy, which makes me more anxious. Urg.