Chutes and Ladders

16 Dec

Do you remember the game Chutes and Ladders? Did you play it as a kid? I did. I was not a competitive child, and have remained that way as it pertains to games and board games. I like to play, but I don’t like to play cut-throat. I think it comes from being the only girl among my siblings…I hated being ganged up on, and I hated feeling left-out. I wanted everyone to enjoy the game, not lord their win over each other. There are games I refuse to play with Hub because he’s all about cut-throat wins (Monopoly for example…Hub is forever trying to make horrible trades whereby he would be taking all my money on the first go-round. What fun is that?), and that isn’t fun for me.

Okay, so anyway, Chutes and Ladders.

Chutes and Ladders board

You were supposed to make your way up the board, landing on squares that let you climb the ladder–and therefore jump ahead quickly–and avoid landing on the squares with the slides. Those damn slides that set you back soooo far in the game that it was nearly impossible to win. Unless you were playing with Mom, who cheated and fell down a slide immediately after you did so you were both in the same boat. (Love you, Mom!)

So you see that long slide in the middle of the game that originates up there at 87? And slides all the way down to 24? Ye-ah, that’s about how I feel with regards to my knees and my health in general right now. Okay, maybe just my knees (my health is probably 47 –> 29), as I feel I have slid a long way backwards, even though I am still in PT. I’m having trouble walking, both knees are attempting to give out occasionally, and I’m in pain most of the time. Even when I’m not standing, my knees are bothering me. I have to keep my legs elevated, as leaving them bent and hanging–like sitting in a chair or on the couch–leaves me in more pain. But laying in bed or sitting on the recliner with the foot support up…I have trouble finding a comfortable position. Both knees are unhappy being straight and unhappy being bent. They are unhappy going from straight to bent, and bent to straight. It sucks, as pretty much everything hurts. Walking on them is equally as difficult, as the pressure of weight makes everything feel exponentially more painful. Sleeping is uncomfortable, too, as I can’t lay on my back and straighten my knees–that hurts–and lying on my side puts weight on one knee or the other. Even with a pillow between, that weight is not comfortable. I’m not walking up and down the stairs–I haven’t for about two weeks–and I’m not going outside with the dogs (with the exception of Snow Day #2).

Top that with the back pain I’m having these days, and sleeping is very very difficult. That means I’m not sleeping, which is bad, bad, bad. Sleep is where your body gets refreshed, and with no refresh I just go further down the slide. I’ve been feeling crappy. I know that isn’t a technical term, but it’s the truth. With the bad knees, the back pain, and the not sleeping, I just feel crappy. I’m dealing with headaches, a stiff neck, and some fun positional vertigo. I’m also feeling the imbalance that waxes and wanes, but never really leaves me. It’s been more noticeable in recent days, which contributes to the crappy feeling.

Have I ever mentioned I have tinnitus, too? I am rarely ever in a dead-quiet room, because without some noise, my tinnitus gets really aggravating. I fall asleep to a radio, I read with the television on, I write with the television on, I have music on when I’m working. My tinnitus is bugging the crap out of me today. I mean, really, WTF.

And as of sometime this afternoon, I’m getting weird shooting pains up my thighs. I assume it’s a muscle thing, but who the hell knows. Tomorrow I go see T and I am guessing based on my post tonight, I’ll spend the majority of my appointment bitching about that crappy slide from square 87 to square 24.


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11 responses to “Chutes and Ladders

  1. joeyfullystated

    December 16, 2013 at 9:52 am

    Eek! I just read this article about the link between tinnitus and diet soda. If you drink diet soda, you might check it out. Tinnitus would probably drive me crazy, too.
    Also, I loved Chutes & Ladders and I hate Monopoly.

    • meANXIETYme

      December 16, 2013 at 10:02 am

      Yeah, I don’t drink any soda anymore. I never did diet soda because of the fake sweeteners, and then when I had to cut out caffeine 13 years ago, the sodas went buh-bye.
      I know the tinnitus is linked to those crappy sugar substitutes, but I don’t use them (more reading of ingredient lists!). Have had tinnitus for over 13 years, so I assume at this point I’m stuck with it. *sigh*
      I LIKE Monopoly when people play like adults. 😉

      • joeyfullystated

        December 16, 2013 at 10:15 am

        Well that’s good. I shared the article with a friend, and she’s gone cold turkey on her diet Pepsi. *fingers crossed*
        Sorry you seem stuck with it 😦

      • meANXIETYme

        December 16, 2013 at 10:17 am

        OMG cold turkey on caffeine would suuuuuck. I hope she does okay. Same thing with my sister-in-law who is a diet mountain dew addict but has fibromyalgia. Finally convinced her that the caffeine and aspertame is bad bad bad, and she’s going to wean off that devil-soda!

      • joeyfullystated

        December 16, 2013 at 10:57 am

        I decaffed slowly. I rarely consume caffeine, and when I do, it must be very little, and early in the day. Kinda sucks, but it did choke some anxiety out 🙂

      • meANXIETYme

        December 16, 2013 at 4:29 pm

        Caffeine never did anything for me–never kept me awake or hopped up–and I had no issues quitting it. But then again I didn’t do coffee or lots of sodas, so I guess I didn’t get as addicted as many people do.
        But giving up chocolate…that was horrible, emotionally. 🙂

      • joeyfullystated

        December 16, 2013 at 4:55 pm

        Oh, I was an addict, fersure! lol
        I think I could give up chocolate far more easily than soda or coffee, not that I would like to, because cordial cherries and chocolate milk ARE emotional 😛

      • meANXIETYme

        December 16, 2013 at 6:57 pm

        So much talk of chocolate (and chocolate milk) make me want to go dunk my head in a bowl of some kind of chocolate. If there are cherries floating in the chocolate, so much the better, thankyouverymuch.

      • joeyfullystated

        December 16, 2013 at 7:07 pm

        Oh no! I’m so sorry! You know what’s wonderful? Pineapple coconut ice cream. That’s what you want!

      • meANXIETYme

        December 16, 2013 at 7:35 pm

        Sounds tropical!

      • joeyfullystated

        December 16, 2013 at 7:36 pm



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