At the edge of

01 Dec

You think she’s cute. Everyone thinks she is cute.

She is slowly driving me over the edge of reason.

It is not easy for me to admit it, but Butthead is driving me crazy. Cray-zey. And she makes me so angry. I don’t like to say that because it sounds petty and wrong, but I find myself feeling angry so often and I hate it. I hate feeling that way. I have GOT to figure out another way to deal with her.

I cannot let her outside without being out with her. So fine, it’s freezing cold and dark, raining, wind blowing, and I’m outside with a freaking flashlight trying to keep an eye on her. In the ten minutes we are outside, this is what happens:

  1. she eats something so I tell her to leave it and then praise her when she does
  2. she starts digging, so I yell at her to leave it and then praise her when she does
  3. she eats something in another spot, so I yell at her to leave it and then praise her when she does
  4. she sniffs for a long time at something, then starts to roll in it… in the rain, in the mud, in the dark, in the cold. I yell at her NOOOOOOO and she rolls and rolls. I start across the yard in the dark, hoping not to turn my ankle in my crappy backyard which is full of pits and holes. I’m yelling at her the whole time and halfway out, right into our soggy swale, she gets up and moves off to another spot.
  5. I turn around to go back to the deck to try to get out of the wind, which means my back is to Butthead. When I turn back, she’s eating something again. And I’m yelling at her again.

I finally give up and attempt to get her to come back to the house so we can go inside. She has peed but not pooped, but I’m wet and freezing and angry. I call and call and call for BH, which Le Moo responds to instead (who was also out with us). BH sees Le Moo heading to the house so SHE runs to beat Le Moo onto the deck. Then I spend the NEXT ten minutes trying to clean her up from rolling in the muck (and whatever else) outside.

This, of course, after she has dug two more holes outside and eaten lord-knows-what earlier in the day, with me attempting to correct her from long distance. Because she’s freaking smart enough to know that she shouldn’t do these things when I’m near her. Which means every time I’m correcting her it is from across the yard, which means I’m always yelling. Which makes me angry. I cannot imagine what my neighbors think as every time I am outside, I’m yelling at Butthead.

I’m tired of being angry at her. I’m tired of getting NOWHERE with her. The trainer we have used in the past is a) not very responsive and it could take 2-3 weeks before she could work us into her schedule and b) the first time I told her I wanted to correct BH from digging and eating stuff in the yard she said “dogs eat and dig!” and told me it wasn’t something to bother training on. I’m on the cusp of using an e-collar that has a vibration option. So that I can train with BH from far away, which is the only time she displays these habits. But e-collars are SO not on the list of things I approve of…even IF there is a vibration-only option. Our trainer was going to help us use an e-collar temporarily to work on recall with both dogs, but because of her schedule, it never happened. Again, I’d call her for help, but I can’t wait 2-3 weeks for her to find time for us. I’ll be bald and so will Butthead waaaay before then.

I don’t think I’ve EVER been embarrassed to write/post a blog. But this one embarrasses the hell out of me. I really do not like feeling this way about my dog, but I’m so beyond frustrated. I’m home all day, every day–with the exception of PT twice a week which takes me out of the house for approximately 90 minutes–and I feel like I rarely get a break from dealing with this shit.

Butthead gets exercise, and she gets mental stimulation. These are things we were prepared for with a new dog, and I try very hard to make sure she gets both even if it is difficult for me physically. Even in the cold, I’m outside with her getting her active with Le Moo and Cray-cray Lab. I’m actually shocked I haven’t gotten sick yet considering how much I’ve been out there in the cold and rain and wind.

I am at my wit’s end with her. And I don’t want to be like this this anymore.


Posted by on December 1, 2013 in angry, anxiety, Butthead, dogs


Tags: , , ,

4 responses to “At the edge of

  1. joeyfullystated

    December 5, 2013 at 3:29 pm

    Oh, but I think a lot of people can relate! As I said, our fence isn’t secure, which means someone has to be out there, and yes, sometimes it’s downright freezing and we loathe it. I’ll be out there, screamin, “GO POTTY!” and all she wants to do is stand in the cold staring at squirrels!
    Our hope is that one day, we will be able to install a FRONT yard fence, much smaller area, and secure. (Less $$$)
    I don’t know what kind of lifestyle you have, but I have a friend with a mischievous Great Dane, and her husband had a dog run installed for nights just like the ones we hate. It’s about 3 feet wide, and runs the length of their fence, maybe 100 ft, and it’s gravel-lined. They hose it down instead of cleaning up, and she goes on about it like it’s the best thing since sliced bread. Their female is really well-behaved, but the male is just bonkos with digging and hunting.
    I don’t have issues with the collars. I haven’t used one, but would consider it for the kind of grief you’ve got with Butthead. Maybe you should change her name. Maybe she KNOWS, lol!

    • meANXIETYme

      December 5, 2013 at 4:10 pm

      She totally knows her name is Butthead. But I’m the only one who calls her that…my mother is kind of horrified that I use that name and Hub just shakes his head and tells me she TRIES to be a good dog (not).
      I’m not keen on doing a dog run because I’d still have to get the dog out to the dog run. There’s no good place to do it near any of our doors, so I’d still be outside walking her to the dog run.
      I just hate being out there screaming at her all the time. We’re trying the ecollar on vibrate, but I’m suspicious that it isn’t working all the time because sometimes I see her respond to the vibration and sometimes not.
      (And Butthead stares at birds, as does Le Moo. Plus, deer. Plus, squirrels. Plus, NOTHING.) 😉

      • joeyfullystated

        December 5, 2013 at 4:17 pm

        LOL! Well then, we dog lovers are all in the same boat!

      • meANXIETYme

        December 5, 2013 at 6:53 pm

        WOOF. (hee hee)


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