So I already said this.
Last night I hardly slept at all. I was anxious all night, tossing and turning, feeling like I couldn’t relax. It wasn’t a panic attack, just that anxiety that keeps you uncomfortable and edgy…waiting for something.
I told Hub this morning that I felt anxious last night and this morning…and now. He asked me what I felt anxious about, and I told him I had no idea. I really don’t know what sparked it overnight, or what is keeping it going. Sometimes when I feel anxious, I have an upset stomach and then the anxiety goes away. I know for some people they get anxious which creates the tummy ache, but for me it seems to be the reverse. It’s like my stomach is ruling my head (which I have heard is an actual possibility… the brain in my gut is ruling the brain in my head). The thing is, I still feel like my stomach is unhappy, so maybe that is why I’m still feeling anxious.
I’m finishing this post near to ten at night. I started it at ten this morning. I am feeling less anxious, but I know it’s still there. I had to deal with the dogs all day in the horrendous heat, and I think I was somewhat distracted. But I still feel kinda crappy. I know it’s from the lack of sleep last night and the restlessness. I’ve been having that same kind of tossing and turning for a while now and it’s really screwing with me. I can’t get comfortable and I can’t relax in bed…it’s so disheartening. I used to love sleeping when I was younger, now I feel like it’s a fucking fight every night. Sorry, I’m not big on cursing, but it’s how I feel at the moment. I hate that the one time when I should be able to relax, I’m still fighting with myself for some reason.
Time to turn off the electronics, so I’m just going to end here. Sorry it’s such a short post.