Weight weight, don’t tell me

01 Jul

So I try really hard not to watch the scale because I know that I am more than the number that shows up. I’ve been doing well with that, noting the number when I get on the scale but not letting it change what I’m doing or how I’m feeling.

This past week? Not so much. I’ve been dealing with the stress over Butthead, and I think the stress is triggering some of my food issues. Specifically, I’ve been having the “munchies” a lot. Much of the time I am able to stop and check-in with myself to see if I’m actually hungry, or if I am bored or avoiding feeling something. Or if I’m just dealing with the stress by distracting myself with food/eating.

I’ve tried to stick to my standards when I’ve decided I really want something to eat during the day (in between regular meals). I am very much on a greek yogurt and frozen fruit smoothie kick–for months now–and I find it is a good and filling snack. Greek yogurt is high in protein which I think it good to fill you up. And of course, the fruit I put in the smoothie is good fiber. The greek yogurt I eat is fat free and has no weird or synthetic sugars in it, so I feel good about the snack and it does fill my need for something sweet. I have also had some actual meat snacks–protein again–in the last week or so, hoping it would satisfy my eating/snacking needs. I’m trying to stay away from eating chips or gluten free pretzels (all carbs and salt) and sugary snacks. Unfortunately, I’ve eaten some gluten free cookies that Hub purchased for me. Fortunately, he only bought a couple of them and once they are gone, they are gone. I do so much better when I don’t have these things in the house. It isn’t that I want to deny myself of these things, the problem is that I am not always able to control my portions of these things. I find it easier to just not have them in the house so that I do not overeat them. It is something I have learned about myself and my eating habits.

Anyway, so the thing is, I’ve put on about five pounds in the last two or three weeks. Not major and I’ve tried hard not to let it get to me. Normally, I will then lose the five pounds again and go back to the weight I’ve been maintaining the last six months or so…almost like it’s a normal fluctuation of my body–water weight maybe? But for some reason, this has not happened yet and it is bothering me. I don’t want this to be an issue, but it is right now. Is it the stress that is doing it? I know stress can affect your metabolism and your body in many ways. I hope it is the stress and my numbers will go back down the five pounds. Seriously, five pounds at my weight is not a big deal. And I am adamant that it will not affect my mood and I will not berate myself for it. I have not done anything wrong. My body is reacting to what is happening in my life and I will allow it to do so.

But I am also hopeful that I can find my way back to the five pounds less that I have been at for months. I will not deny myself of the food that my body needs to live. I will continue to eat the foods that have been stabilizing my body for the last six months and remember that maintaining good portion sizes is how I keep myself feeling healthy and heartburn (gastritis) -free.

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Posted by on July 1, 2013 in anxiety, fat, food, weight


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