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It might go well or not or I don’t know

23 Jun

Recently I wrote this:

By the time this posts, things will either have gone really well or gone really poorly. Or somewhere in the middle. Or we’ll still be in the middle of figuring it out. Jeez, that was so not helpful.

Yeah, so not helpful. I mean, that’s pretty much life, right? It either goes well, goes poorly, or is still in motion. As I wrote it, it was like an odd epiphany. There it is. Good, bad, middle. It was like a “duh” moment when I was typing it. I feel like it was important that I wrote it and that I acknowledged it. I wish it had helped me more, though.

I told T in a recent session that I feel like I’m able to see the things I’m doing, notice what I’ve said or something that triggers me, but I don’t know how to change it. She told me then maybe I’m not ready to change those things. How frustrating to hear because I feel like I am ready and wanting. It’s so difficult to see what you are doing wrong and not be able to make the change to make myself better.

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2 Comments

Posted by on June 23, 2013 in anxiety, change, questions

 

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2 responses to “It might go well or not or I don’t know

  1. joeyfullystated

    June 23, 2013 at 6:24 pm

    I think we all have this. I mean, I think even people without anxiety have this. I find myself saying this a lot, “Well, I dunno how it’s gonna turn out.” And that’s the truth. The sad truth, lol! I’m trying to learn how to see possibilities as a positive, instead of an irksome unknowing. I’ve made some progress, but I’m still far from where I want to be.
    You’re making progress, and you will continue to.

     
    • meANXIETYme

      June 23, 2013 at 7:10 pm

      I’m so happy for you that you’re making progress. Sometimes progress is hard to measure for ourselves but easier to see in others. Especially when progress is slow or comes in minute steps! Thanks for the kind words, always happy to hear from you!

       

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