Cut and go

11 May

Tomorrow is the day I go in to have my cyst cut, drained and cleaned. The antibiotics seemed to do their thing as the damn cyst finally shrank, though it still looks puffy and a bit angry. I can at least lay on that side now, and wearing a bra is a bit more comfortable. Unfortunately, the spot where the cyst resides is at the crease of my breast and my side, so every time my breast moves, it pulls at the skin of the cyst and hurts.

So I scheduled to see the surgeon and tomorrow is supposed to be the day. I have had this procedure done before over ten years ago so I kind of know what’s going to happen. Good news is, this cyst is nowhere near as painful or sensitive as the last one, but I’m still afraid. I hate the thought of the needle for the lidocaine…and I hate the epinephrine that will go along with the lidocaine. It’s basically adrenaline and will give me a horrible rush, which will ramp me up, get me wired and agitated, and anxious. ANXIOUS. It’s going to completely and utterly fuck with my anxiety.

I’m not even thinking about the pain during or after the “surgery”…which will certainly affect me, again because of placement and because I lay on that side a lot when prone. And sadly, I’ve been prone a lot these last ten days or so because I threw my back out doing stuff in the garden over a weekend. But right now, I’m more about the anxiety of the epinephrine and the adrenaline rush. I’m trying really hard not to spend time thinking about it and up until this afternoon, I’ve been successful. But it’s creeping up on me and I can already feel the tingle of anxiety rippling through the center of my body. I will do my best to keep it at bay in the hopes that I can sleep tonight–the appointment isn’t until tomorrow late afternoon–but we’ll see.

Meanwhile, my damn back being out is driving me insane. I can’t sit up in bed, so I’m either laying on my side or flat on my back. Neither of those options lets me work on the laptop or even watch television. I can listen to the television, but looking at it from either of those positions gives me a neck-ache. Ugh. Both of those things are major distraction objects for me, so it’s been pretty sucky.

Wish me luck for tomorrow.

*Postscript: Back from the surgeon. He was nice enough, despite the half an hour wait (past the appointment time, plus the 15 min wait before the appointment time). Told me what he was going to do before he did it. Minimal pain with the injections, none with the cutting & draining. Right now, more pain with the tape and the rubbing of the gauze on the open cut than anything else. Later it might be different, we’ll see. Novacaine with epinephrine gave me a headache and is making me a tad jittery, but otherwise am okay. He was talking about giving me more antibiotics and asked about “sulfa” but I told him no way, it was either z-pack or nothing. He decided on nothing. Guess it wasn’t as bad as he thought it was going to be. It was all over pretty quickly, actually.

I told hub before the doctor came in with the instruments that I might cry, but I didn’t. Overall, I did okay. I did okay.


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2 responses to “Cut and go

  1. joeyfullystated

    May 11, 2013 at 1:11 pm

    Glad it’s over. Hope your back heals soon.
    I also had a procedure where the Dr gave me epinephrine. Dr-Induced-Anxiety-Attack was NOT fun!

    • meANXIETYme

      May 11, 2013 at 1:33 pm

      Thanks. And yeah, seriously, they should discuss that stuff with you, especially since I had marked the box on the history forms that says “chronic anxiety” !!


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