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I feel crappy. I like to lead with the good stuff, ya know?

I feel nauseous and my stomach is unhappy and I’m exhausted and stuff hurts. Like, multiple parts of my body. All this is POST massage. TWO days post massage, no less.

When I finished with PT, I promised myself I would get in to see the massage therapist I had met a year ago through my PT group. I remember her as being kind and knowledgeable, and I knew she spent years as a PT, so she’d be good at working on my trigger points. I did remember that I came away from the appointment with a headache, but I thought it was because I didn’t hydrate. So I tried to be prepared this time…

I remember the good parts of the massage…it felt great while she was working on me. She found lots of trigger points and worked several of them out. Others she softened, but didn’t want to spend the whole hour on them, so she had to leave it at that. I felt good immediately after the massage as I was dealing with payment and chatting with her. But by the time I made it to my car and was on the road home, I felt foggy and blurry. I felt on the verge of tears and I really wanted to go lay down. I felt nauseated. I got home, let the dogs out, peed (which I had to do desperately) and then I drank half a glass (32 ounce up) of water. I ate lunch. I felt slightly better.

Since that point, I’ve felt like shit. The nausea has not subsided, I’ve had muscle pain and I’ve had anxiety. My stomach is still unhappy, no matter what I do or don’t eat. I didn’t sleep last night AT ALL because I felt so crappy and I was bordering on an anxiety attack. I laid in bed and listened to music all night, trying not to give in the anxiety, but I didn’t sleep. Which is just as bad as actually having an anxiety attack…maybe worse, because not sleeping heightens my anxiety. Nausea heightens my anxiety, and the fact that I had the chills, but was hot, but was cold, and felt flushed, also didn’t help. All of this activated my health anxiety (heart attack…) It stinks. I tried to fight it today, and I went out briefly with my mother, but gave in after lunch and went upstairs to try to lay down for a while. That made no difference, but after a short trip downstairs, I ended up back upstairs in bed. I don’t want to give in, but I’m tired and I just want to feel better, and my bed is my safe place. So I came up to sit in bed while hub heated up some leftovers for me to try to eat. And while I was waiting, I went hunting through my blog right around this time last year, which is when I saw the massage therapist the first time. I was almost positive that I had blogged about my experience, and I wanted to know how long it took before I felt better. A day, two? Four? Today is the 2nd full day post-massage.

I finally found it. And what is too funny, is that I was thinking about using that same title for today’s post…I’m nothing if not consistent. Anyway, I re-read the post, then checked the next couple of posts to see how long I felt poorly. It was a similar experience this time to the first time, with the exception that last time it was a headache but this time it was this nausea. I don’t know if the release of so many trigger points at once (and other muscles) released some toxins into my systems that is making me feel crappy, but who knows. Hopefully I’ll start to feel better tomorrow. In the meantime, I’m TRYING to be kind to myself, and remember that giving into the anxiety is not weakness, it’s a learning experience. And no matter if I do get anxious, there will be a new day to follow where I will be okay.

Meanwhile, anyone else have this kind of experience with massages? Or trigger point release? It sucks, because I KNOW I need to keep up with the trigger points, but dealing with this multiple day crappy feeling really stinks. I mean, who else but me would have an adverse reaction to a MASSAGE?!